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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

“Christmas began in the heart of God. It is complete only when it reaches the heart of man.”

Christmas Seasons...

Everyone knows that when Christmas season arrive, you'll see Christmas decoration everywhere, in the street, the shop, houses, neighbourhood. Well, i like to walk around the town and see all the christmas decorations, somehow I found this banner in "ngiu kee" which personally I think it has the most meaningful christmas decoration for public.


"Faith Hope & Love"
"My faith is found in you, You are my hope, I see love reaching for me."

A Christmas Sharing

Faith, Hope, and Love are the 3 most powerful things that a man can have. But everyone knows that "the greatest of these is Love" and this is what we really need in this christmas seasons. If you don't have faith, or hope, at least... For God's sake, have love. I was touched when I see this banner, which exactly what I think somehow portrayed what christmas is. Christmas is about faith, not food, presents, or parties. Christmas is christmas, the birth of Christ and is something tradition, that is why I don't like when the church play loud music band on Christmas masses, where is the sense of christmas??? it's isn't about music or hard beaten drums. Where is the meaning of "silent night"??? Where is the traditional christmas mass where we sing sweet christmas carols with reverence and prayful-ness? I remember a friend where he is a newborn christian, where he didn't go to church but only on christmas day. He would say that he likes the christmas atmosphere, the beautiful twilight everywhere, the nice choirs, and meaningful readings of christmas where we are reminded again on our faith, and christmas happen because we went wrong somewhere, somehow, and when we lost our faith, hope and love that one man have to come down to bring us this 3 things. Christmas is hope, we celebrate the pass, to remind us of our presence life, as our reminded for our future, as our hope when in time of troubles. Born in the lowliest place yet a king. This is our hope in time of despair and broken, we know that we have someone to accompanying us when we felt alone, someone guide us when we felt danger ahead, someone have provided us even when we do not ask for it. That's how christmas bring hope for us. When I was in the carolling team, one of my favourite song is "Christmas is a time to love". Yes! exactly! Christmas is born of Love, its all about Love. Its a time of love and to love. Christmas is a time where we felt loved and we should love everyone around us, starting from our family to strangers who's lonely this Christmas, to friends that do not understand what Christmas is, to friends which are lonely during Christmas, to your enemies. Love them, for it is love that move a person heart. When you have love, there you find faith and hope then peace in your heart.

Here are some Christmas gifts suggestion:

“Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness.

To an opponent, tolerance.

To a friend, your heart.

To a customer, service.

To all, charity.

To every child, a good example.

To yourself, respect.” - Oren Arnold

May the spirit of this wonderful Christmas season stay with you always throughout your life...

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas isn't christmas until it happens in your heart.


Wishing everyone... A very happy blessed merry christmas. My favourite christmas quote is at title... Let's make christmas really happen in your heart and the hearts around you, including those who's untouched, unloved and lonely at tis time. Christmas is a time to love and share...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

“Everyone makes mistakes. That's why there is an eraser on every pencil.”

16/12/08


It was a lazy afternoon, my younger was in the church decorating for christmas. So I thought of going there go give some helps or maybe just to see what changes they have done at the church where I grew up and where I learn the most about life and love.


During my teenage life, around form 2, when I met my hometown bestfren, Fernandez. Since then, we both are active in church in activities like Altar Server, Carollings, Choirs or Camps... It was one of the great memories during those days... Altar Server or some might call in Altar Boy is what teaches my a lot about service and fullness in doing something. I was the leader last time and I always teach the younger server to serve full heartedly as once you are a server, forever you are. In every aspect in life, service is essential. Every job created in this world is to give service to others. For me, life isn't about enjoying alone, gaining what you want, happiness, beauty, richness, its about service. We serve others first before we serve ourselves, that's the ultimate type of service. it is in life that we have the chance to serve others in need, reach out to see and touch, to serve and not to be serve. As a christian and altar servers especially, we are always reminded that the greatest servant is God himself, Jesus came into the world to serve and not to be serve. That's is the ultimate goal of giving a service, to serve and not to be serve. Some people might need returns like money for their service given out, but that is not the real sincere type of service. A true service comes from the heart, which is first to serve without asking. If you can understand the spirit of serving, then you can be a good server. to be first to serve means you know what is going to happen, to avoid the bad things happen to others by fast services. The sames goes to your relationship with anyone, a true relationship of spouses, friends, families and community is about serving. A husband should serve his wife and so as the wife should serve her husband, with full hearted in spirit of serving. To really serve mean to put aside your need, not ignoring them but put aside temporarily to serve others first. It goes the same in a friendship, if you are someone who treasure friendship, you will know that the key element that keep a friendship alive and strong is service. If either one side start to cease of serving, or only know how to be served, it surely won't last long, and the bonding will not be strong. Are you there when your spouse or friends need you? are you just there when they need you? or you are there, ready to serve without waiting? Do you try your best, or you think you have tried you best to serve? To serve, is not to wait until there is something needed to be done, it is always ready all the time, to try the best to serve. To love, you need to serve, because serving is the action of love. When you say "I love you", meaning to say "I am ready to serve you before my needs". "I give you first before me".

I am really thankful that I have the chance of being an altar server in my life, which i really love the most, and learn the most about life especially the life of service. It is when I serve, I received the most. When I serve, I have the oppurturnity to be on the sanctuary, close to God, giving an example to peoples attending mass about reverance. As altar server, we taken vow, to serve God, His church and His people with full reverance and humility. I have never regreted this vow and it remind me always to serve others first. Now, when I grew older and the world gets "colder", I tend to be "colder" too. What the world really needs is a heart of service, the real spirit of service. That's what makes the world a better place for everyone. The motto of Altar Server or Guild of Saint Stephen is "CVI SERVIRE REGNARE EST" which means "to serve is to reign" which is very true.




Well, back to the story... during my walk around the church, seeing others busy with decoration, went to see the new priest and talk with some old friends, I happen to see this at the notice board of Altar Server.

A server prayer before mass and after mass

This is the prayer which I put on the notice board when I was in form 4, and after 6 years! this little beautiful prayer is still here. Just that they put in into a nice paper with some nice graphic. I was once again touched when I read this prayer which I need to pray almost every week before and after serving. Can't belive this prayer is still here after 6 years since the first time I put it on. God must have really love this prayer...

Is a good prayer for everyone who wish to learn how to serve others. I like this sentence the most "If I happen to make an error, may it be a lesson so my service will be perfect tomorrow". I think it suit for everyone. When we make error, take it as a lesson so we can serve others perfect tomorrow, there is nothing to be scare of making mistake in life.

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want and need is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

-Oprah Winfrey

On 14 December 2008... that night was my very first bus ride back home to Miri.

My First Long Journey Bus Ride
It was my very first bus ride back to Miri, to my house in Limbang. Usually i would take the flight back home but since I am not sure when I wanted to back last time, so I didn't book the flight and have to go back by bus.
Its an 16hours of agony in the bus~!!! Imagine 16 hours of sitting in a bus with the hard but cushioned chair. I barely can move my butt when everytime the bus stopped for a rest. Its way to long for a bus ride, the flight would only take 1 hour to arrive at Miri from Kuching. I think i won't take the bus anymore. its just too toturing for me with big ass...

Here are some tips for a bus ride:
1) A jacket or sweater is a must if you take a long journey bus. A pillow is optional.
2) Wear comfortable shirt and pant, better if its soft and good absorbant. Jeans is just too hard for your butt.
3) Buy fruits, eat it when you are hungry. Avoid heavy meals and sweet drinks during bus ride as you might get stomachache suddenly, and without any toilet in the bus, you really need to use the public toilet. I mean, really public! get what I mean? public as in open air. hehe...
4) When the bus stop for rest, get your ass out of the chair and move it! probably you need to shake it. Shake shake.. shake it.. shake it nice... just to get the blood circulate around your butt after a long sitting.
5) Sit in front of the bus, avoid back seats as when the bus moves, the back is the most shaky and swingy.
6) Just close your eyes and sleep in the bus. At least you try to sleep, to avoid tiredness and dizzy.
7) Get your phone fully charge or reloaded with lots of credits if you are travelling alone as you can text or call your friends for companion.
8) Pray!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Me and My Drum… Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum~!!!

Its December… and when we talk bout December, its Christmas~!!! Yeah!!!

I am into the Christmas spirit now, listening to Christmas songs… playing my drums…

When I was a young boy, during this season of the years, my home will play Christmas songs listen to Christmas story enjoying the true meaning of Christmas. And there is one songs that I must listen to every year over and over again. Yes.. every year and over and over again. I fall in love with this song the very first time I heard it and to be honest, when I fall in love *literally*, I tend to love it very very much and stick to it very much and never get bored with it. So can be said that I kind of "royal" person if I like something very much. And Yes, you can guessed it. I am listening to the song over and over again now even when I am writing this blog. This very songs touches me every time I heard it, it's a simple song yet full of meaning and humility. Pa Ram Pa Pum Pum… its call The Little Drummer Boy.

Why I like this song? First, I like songs with good drums sound and I like drums or any kind of percussions. It is the essential elements in music which give the "umphh~!" of the song. Then the lyrics reflect something really nice. If you study and understand it carefully, it is so much full of love and humbleness, the story of a poor drummer boy. I like the version sung by my favourite singer, Josh Groban.

The little drummer boy

Come, they told me, pa rum pa pum pum
A newborn King to see, pa rum pa pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pa pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pa pum pum,
Rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum
So to honor Him, pa rum pa pum pum
When we come

Little baby, pa rum pa pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pa pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pa pum pum
That's fit to give our King, pa rum pa pum pum,
Rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum
Shall I play for You, pa rum pa pum pum
On my drum
On my drum

I play my drum for Him
So to honor Him

Mary nodded, pa rum pa pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pa pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pa pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pa pum pum,
Rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum
Then He smiled at me, pa rum pa pum pum
Me and my drum
When we come

Me and my drum


The song start with this sentences… "Come, they told me, A newborn king to see, our finest gifts we bring, to lay before the king, so to honour him, when we come."… What is your reaction when someone would call you and say, "come, lets go see a newborn king". Won't you be glad that you have the honour to see the newborn king? If it were me, I will be so glad to have the honour to be invited to see the newborn king and would surely dress up the best and bring my finest gift to give the newborn king, to honour him. How do we honour people? To really honour someone, the best thing you can do is do your best, literally, "bringing your finest gift". So what is the finest gift? It is the most valued by money? Or is it invaluable by money? The finest gift in our life would be our own self; you bring yourself as the finest gift to give. To give and not to receive. The gift of yourself is the most finest gift, for your God, your parents, your friends, your community. A human is divided into 3 parts, the physical, the mind and the spirit. When bring yourself as a gift, you bring the whole "self", all the 3 parts. The physical to be there, the mind to be presence and the spirit to feel your own presence there. That's the perfect gift you can give to anyone. The King will be your creator, someone that give you this spirit to be alive, put thoughts in your mind and bring you into a physical life. Now, when the time come, would you return the honour to Him for giving you your being? And how?

The story continues… The little drummer came in front baby Jesus... "Little baby, I am a poor boy too, I have no gift to bring, That's fit to give our King, Shall I play for you on my drum?" … How gently and polite this little drummer asked for permission to play his drum. What a humble and nice little boy. Thoght he is poor, he dares to stand in front a king and asked a permission to play. In life, we didn't not need great things to accomplished something great like giving a King a birthday present, all we need is just humility and a great heart with great love to do that simple things and that simple things will then be transformed by our pure since love to be a great thing. All we do, we do it with humbleness, humility and truthfulness, for love is humble and do not proud, it rejoice with truths.

Here is how it ends… Then the little boy played his drum.. "I play my drum for Him, so to honour Him and Mary nodded, the ox and lamb kept time, I played my drum for Him, I played my best for Him, Then He smiled at me, Me and my drum" When we played our drum the best we can, that will be the greatest honour we gave ourself and everyone. So strike the your drum the best you can, for you are the drum that can be the greatest gift.

I just love this song so much… you can search it at YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4Kg3RCKf_I

Remember the true meaning of Christmas… You are ready to attend the King's birthday party, do you have the best present for Him yet?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin


It's been a long time that I didn't update my blog. And today while in the lab, discussing on what to write on my blog, my friend, Kristine came up with this idea; "Why don't you write on what would you do if you only have 24hours to live?" Well, I gave it a thought, "hrmm… not bad. Thanks Kris" and here it goes…

If I have another 24hours to live.

If one night, I would fall asleep let's say around midnight and God came into my dream and say. "My dear child, from now on, you will have only 24hours to live, so do your best with that 24 hours." Oh my! I would surely jumped out my bed and think over it. Maybe I'll sleep back, and hopefully God will come again, this time, I will try to neogotiate, I'll ask for my life to be extend till I'm old probably around 120? And if God didn't allow that, maybe I'll ask if He can give me more time, let's say 5 years, a year, 1 month or at least 1 week. And hopefully God will grant it.

It was on Sunday that me and Kristine went to bookstore after church, and we spent quite a long time at there browsing through books and stuffs. A few books caught my attention, one of it is about what would you do if you have only 1 day to live, it is quite interesting but I forgot the title. The another book that caught my attention is "How to live forever", it's a book about a boy with leukemia and he journey through the rest of his life searching for things and knowledges and how to life forever. The story is simple, easy to understand, and it portrait the life of a dying young boy, and its very interesting and touching. I did read the book for a few pages, quite a lot of pages actually while waiting for Kris to find her book, Kris did read the book a few pages briefly and probably that's how she got the idea for me today.

If I know that I only have 24 hours to live, at time I know this, I would probably shock or break down and cry. Well, I have to appreciate my time now, so I better get the things that I wanted to do done before my 24 hours is up. Firstly, I would just pick up the phone; call my family, all of them! I would not tell them that I am going to die because I would not want to draw the attention to me. I will tell my parents that I love them so much and thanks for bring me into this life, and I know that you have tried your best to provide for me. I wanted to tell my sisters to do all the best in their life and know that I love them very much too. And not forget, I will apologiese for all my wrong doing and I will forgive all. I do not want to carry the burden to me, I wanted to let go and forgive. If its possible, I'll get a ticket to fly back to meet them all.

***This is harder than I thought, I actually realize that I have many things to do and its so hard to choose which to do first.***

The next thing, probably I will find my gf and be with her for the rest of my time, I wanted to tell her that she's the most beautiful girl I've ever know, she's perfect for me and sorry for all my treatment to her, I know that sometimes I'm not that good and I will be the best I can for her at this few hours left. Then I will go with her to the nearest ATM to withdraw some money, I would like to leave some for my family or her, I do not want to be selfish now, my life is only a few hours, it is good for me to give others something. And now when I got some money in my hand, I actually do not know what I am going to do. Probably I will reload my phone credit and gas up my car and drive to some place quite and with privacy with my gf. Then I will call up all the contacts in my phone, starting with my bestfriend. I wonder if she got time to listen to me. I would like to tell her that she's very special to me, and of cause, I wouldn't say that I am going to die soon. I will tell her sorry for not being there sometimes and hurting her. I will tell her what I think about her no matter good or bad. Well, it's my last few hours; I wanted to use this short time to help her and everyone. And not forgetting to ask everyone's forgiveness before I go. I will then call everyone and tell them how special they are for me and I say sorry to them, probably to my closer friend, I will talk longer with them telling them that how they coloured my life and sorry for not being able to be there for them sometime. And surely I will start with digi number first, cause its cheaper. Hopefully I will got time and credit to finish call everyone. And see who is there for me this time. I will call the one I hate too, tell them why I hate them not to piss them off but to let them know why I felt so with hope that that might realize it and not hurt others then I will say that I really do forgive them. And after that, I really do not know what to do.

*** Kris, help me. You gave me this idea but I got stuck in the middle. Hehe… ***

Oh ya, probably I will go to the nearest bookstore to buy Kristine her books which she didn't manage to buy the other day. Buy my sisters things that they wished for. For my gf which actually didn't demand much from me, I will buy nothing! Yes! Nothing! Cause you deserve me 101% now so I will give me to you. To my bestfriend now, probably buy her a ticket to tour around Sabah, or Paris, whichever she likes. To all ex, I will buy you diamond ring. You wish!! I will see what I can give you. To my bestfriend back at hometown, I'll buy you a sport car under my name, so if I die soon, the insurance company will have to pay it so you no need pay a thing. I will buy many things, as many as I can for my family and friends.

Oh ya! I will do to the nearest church. Of cause, a Catholic church if possible and knelt down on my knees and give thanks for this wonderful life of mine and ask for forgiveness while I am still aware. To be honest, I will not angry that God will took my life soon and I am not afraid of death now by knowing I have tried my best to use my 24hours. By now, I think I will left a few hours only, I will just live a usual, like nothing would have happen. Talk with the one who's around me. Maybe I'll go eat crispy patta also. Watch some funny movie with anyone. Sign up to donate my organs. There are a lots more of things that I wanted to do if I have another 24 hours to live, I just can't finish writing it all here. But most of all, I do not want to draw attention to me and I will do my best to give out my rest to everyone around me.

For now, I think why I am not afraid of death is that I still do not have the responsible and commitment yet. And from most NDE (near death experience) from good people that I've heard and read of, death is not an ugly things and it is actually a beautiful things. I believe I have not done and big mistake, "mortal sin" if you would like to call it, so I have no worries of leaving this world. And I did nothing seriously wrong to anyone too, that's why I didn't scare. For those who are reading this, what would you felt if you know you are going to die soon? Will you be afraid cause of some commitment that you haven't fulfill or big responsible given to you have not done? I do not want to know how you would felt but the most important thing is yourself. Do you know how you feel? Try asking yourself. If you felt happy and glad, a big congratulations to you. And if you felt scare and weary, you better think where did you done wrong in your life and why would you be scare. Take the time to "clear your life" now, do not wait! Do it now for you really wouldn't know when will your time is up. If there is anyone whom you would like to say thank you to, say it now! Use your life to inspire others to live. That's what I call "how you will live forever". If you have done any wrong to anyone whom you haven't apologized to yet, do it now, you won't want dying with people hating you. Forgive your enemies, it's a burden if you do not forgive. And by "enemies" I mean anyone whom you hate or do not like. The most important thing, tell the one you love that you do love them, for they might be waiting for you to say it too, do not let them wait forever because you do not dare to tell them.